Sunday, May 10, 2009

Who's yer Mama

I hear that its Mother's Day today. The television ads tell me so. My mother passed away 27 years ago so I haven't had to remember to buy cards or flowers for quite sometime. Nor am I a mother so I am neither a giver or a getter today.

I had a step mother for a while after my mother died when I was in my 20's. But she was more like my father's wife then a mother. She was more like the step mother in Cinderella... I used to call her my step-monster... but I'm not bitter about it. really. She disappeared after my dad died 14 years ago. So I don't have to worry about cards for her either.

I'm not quite sure where this blog is taking me or why I even signed in. I guess I just wanted to comment how Mothers Day is for me. I'm not sad like I was early after my mother's death. My sadness probably lasted a good 8 years. Then the emotions started to let up and I don't cry much.

Although I did cry a couple of weeks a go when I told a friend how my dad sobbed at my mother's memroial. I never even saw him shed a tear before that time. There he sat in my aunt's backyard on a short wall sobbing into his hands. It was funny how the tears were right there when I pictured him. Even now I'm getting a bit misty.

As far as my loss of my mother, I have done the majority of the grieving. I say majority because I don't think the grieving is ever done. It just gets different. And my life has been quite different without her as it would have been with her. But life is what it is. It is my journey.

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