Here I sit in my wicker chair & ottoman pulled up to the wall heater with my cat Noodle close by. My little 18" plastic Christmas tree is sparkling at me from across the room. And as usual when I sit down to write I am trying to figure out what exactly I want to say to the world.
I don't know why but this time of year is hard for a lot of people. Winter time, Christmas time, the New Year... why do we make it so hard? Expectations of what we think everything should be? Oh the good ol' days when we were kids. Oh the bad ol'days when we were kids. I don't have enough of this or that... I should have done this or that...
It's a lot of looking at what we don't have and not enough of looking at what we have right here right now. Where are we at this moment. Who is in our life right now that makes our hearts sing.
My current work situation could throw me into a hurricane of worry & frustration but I have been diligent especially the last week about staying in faith. The really good news is that I have work set up in January & February but right now-right now I am in between jobs. Being self employed means that I am constantly chasing the next job.
The next job always comes and my bills always get paid and I don't go hungry. That's not to say that my bank account doesn't get overdrawn and that I don't drive on empty and sometimes I eat once a day. But I am always taken care of...
I have a lot to be grateful for right now. In October I was given a huge gift: a place of my own. It's a perfect little house and I love it. I have my health. I have a car... with gas. I can read & write. I live in a society where women such as myself can live independently. I can vote. I have freedom of speech. I have food. I have family & friends that love me. I live in a cozy little beach town where there really isn't a lot of traffic. Things in my life are on the up and up.
So as I chase the next job, I am looking at what I do have and not what I don't have. And I guess I want to say to the world that things are alright.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
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