January

Here it is February first - I just realized I didn't write anything in January. The idea crossed my mind several times but I never got around to it. I like to feel like writing, have an idea or at least feel inspired and definitely be positive with the message.

As it is for me from year to year, January is a challenging month for many reasons. Mostly it is the aftermath of the holiday season that levels all aspects of life. The holidays are physically exhausting, can be emotionally exhausting, it can stretch most folks financially if you are not careful & spiritually for some it can be challenging. To top it off: the days are short and it is dark early... and that just wraps it up & ties it in a bow.

Coming into January there are many unknowns... what will the new year bring? where will the work come from? Money to the arts is slowing down. It's the new year with new budgets. We are moving into a new landscape. We all live with unknowns and if we are not diligent it can drive us to fear and worry.

In December I landed a good project to start in January. I was very motivated and optimistic going in to the New Year. After the first week of January I lost that groovy gig. It wasn't so groovy. It was a blessing on all levels except financially.

So as I lost this big project that was to carry me through to March with a big fat cushion I had to change my perspective on this loss. It wasn't easy. There are no guarantees. Things change. Shit happens. This is nothing new.

February brings a new smaller project and I have no idea how it will all come together but I refuse to worry. It just doesn't help me in any way. Also I realized that whether I worried or not everything worked out. So why waste my energy.

Today I am choosing to look at the unknown as a surprise, like a big surprise present. I have no idea how the Universe is conspiring for me. I have no idea where the next job will come from. It is one big cosmic surprise! So why not get excited about the coming surprise... "Oh I can't wait to open that big pretty present from the Universe!" "Oh what could it be!!"

That attitude brings back the joy to my anticipation. It brings back hope to my being. It brings me back to my path of faith in the abundance of our Universe.